Finding Hope After Loss

A year after losing his wife and two daughters, Rabbi Leo Dee spent Shabbat alone for the first time in decades. He cried for half an hour. In the middle of that grief, he began to ask himself what he wanted for the years ahead.

On Friday, October 16, Rabbi Dee recalled that shabbat as he spoke to over 250 guests gathered at LifeTown for the Fabulous Friday Night Shabbat dinner. Rabbi Dee spoke about his loss and how his faith helped him look ahead.

“I thought Rabbi Dee’s speech was unbelievably inspirational and it gave me a perspective that I’ll carry in my heart forever about how to handle the death of a loved one,” said Mara Simon.

In 2023, Rabbi Dee’s wife Lucy, and two of their daughters, Maia and Rina, were killed in a terrorist attack while traveling by car.

Rabbi Dee worked in private equity in London before entering the British rabbinate. He moved to Israel in 2014. At LifeTown, he spoke about how his faith shaped the questions he asked himself after the attack.

“We should never ask ourselves what if,” said Rabbi Dee. “Rather than asking what if, one should ask what if God planned it this way? What if the challenges in life were always meant to be? And all we have to ask is, ‘What do we do now’?”

Rabbi Dee described that Shabbat alone as one of his lowest points. It was also the first time since the attack that he felt ready to consider sharing his life with someone again.

“I don’t believe in the now. I think the now is the moment we make a choice of whether we want to live in the past or live in the future,” said Rabbi Dee. “I take my pain and I confront it very often and then I can package it, put it on a shelf, and label it, the past. I turn toward the future which is a white sheet of paper on which I can write whatever I want to write.”

Rabbi Dee, who has since remarried, invited guests to consider how they might respond to challenges in their own lives.

“We have a choice in life. We can be happy. We can be sad. And every moment is an opportunity to make that decision,” said Rabbi Dee.